Your boyfriend has left you and you are in a bad state. You keep thinking about him all the time, of all the good and bad times you spent together. Any and every place reminds you of him. You know you can’t live without him and want him back.
There is no harm in trying to get him back. You should definitely give it a try if you want it so badly. Put a proper plan in place and follow it well. You might actually succeed in winning him back.
Most Important Strategic Rule: The first step to the process of recovering your ex is to have absolutely no contact with him for about a month. This period would be important for you to cool down and get down from the roller coaster of emotional upheaval. At the end of this period you would be thinking rationally. During this period your boyfriend would also get to cool down and may actually start missing you.
This rule might not be applicable in some case like when you are live in partners or have children together. If communication of any kind has to be done, ensure that it is to the point, short and as respectful as possible. Try not to add any more emotional baggage or flare up the situation further. Every time you see him don’t start thinking that I want my ex boyfriend back in my life and jump on every opportunity to talk and thrash out situations. Be calm and wait this period out.
The Actual Game Plan: After the cool off period of about a month is over, you can start working on your plan to get him back. During this period of no contact, ensure that you take good care of yourself both physically and mentally. Make efforts to look and feel good.
The steps to get him back will vary from individual to individual, however here are some basic steps that you can consider:
- Make the first contact with him by texting him. The text should be positive, confident, short, and with a happy reminder of the days spent together.
- Ensure that the flow of conversation is in your control and you should end the conversation before he does and says bye.
- If you get a positive or neutral response from your ex, you can try and warm up to the next texting. The next text should be subtle reminder of one of the good memories that you two shared.
- Try making your ex jealous by posting innocent pictures with male friends your facebook account.
- In your next text compliment your ex on a certain specific quality of his that you remember to make him feel special and valued.
- If you reached this far with positive response from your ex, it is time to tell him in a very subtle way that you miss the time you guys spent together.
- Now is the time to call your ex and fix up a casual coffee or lunch with him. Make it look like you were in the neighbourhood and just want to catch up. Don’t push or beg but just be casual about it.
- During the date, don’t act romantically but make it like two friends catching up.
If you have been able to get this far, it has definitely been a good start. In all probability, if the date went off well, your ex would text you next saying that it was a fun date. Take it forward, slowly from here and you two might end up together soon.
John Brookner works with one of the most popular psychotherapist, and this post on I want my ex boyfriend back has been written by him. You could also visit their website to learn practical ways to get back your lost love.